I've been writing for the past several months about how to find a good reader and how to get the most from your sessions. Part of making the most of your experience is to have good questions.So, last month, I offered a contest for my readers. I first explained that I think that the point of the Tarot is to help us to "predict our future by creating it." I don't want to be told what to do, do you? Or that such-and-such is fated to happen, so you might as well sit back and enjoy or suffer through it.
Instead, I recommend using the Tarot to illuminate options and to tune in on the present possibilities, including any hidden influences, motives, and forces currently in play, so that you can better make choices now, and so shape the future. In other words, we assume full responsibility for our future.
The challenge was, "Thinking over the following questions, which one(s), if any, do you think demonstrate that the questioner is taking full responsibility for the situation? Why or why not?"
The questions were:
* Should I take the promotion, or should I stay where I am?
* If I change majors, will it be a better career path?
* When should I put my house on the market?
* If I go back to my wife, will she be faithful?
* Should we start a family now, or wait?
I also offered bonus points if you wanted to re-word any of the questions to make them better.
First, a huge thanks to everyone who participated (especially since I goofed up the link for responding). I had some wonderful responses, and some of you came very close!
But five of the couple of dozen who wrote were exactly right! None of the questions demonstrate that the questioner has taken responsibility for the outcome. Each one carries the implication that there is some right, or meant-to-be outcome "out there" somewhere, or that the cards (or the reader) somehow know better than they do what is right.
So congratulations to Dana, Tiffany, Heather, Becky, and Nancy! Terrific job! Especially since each of you also answered the bonus questions by offering your improved versions of the questions.
Because of this five-way tie, I was obliged to randomly select the final winner. So, with the help of my impartial husband drawing names, the winner is Becky from Oklahoma! Congratulations, Becky! You have won a free half-hour reading! I'll be emailing you so we can set it up!
So - what would have been better questions?
All of the winners noted that the first question limits the choices to either/or, and there could be other possibilities. So they all reworded it along the lines of "What do I most need to know about how this promotion might benefit me?" Note that, once given the information in the reading, the choice is still up to the querent.
Similarly, in the second question, they all pretty much agreed with Becky's re-wording: "What do I most need to know about which major path is most suited to me?" Can you see the difference? In the former phrasing, not only is this a yes or no question, as if there is some absolute, but "better" is a loaded word. What does "better" mean?
The third example, like the first and last, has the revealing term "should." Like the word, "better," this is a judgment word that begs the question -- according to whom? Dana offers a great revision, asking, "What are some factors that can help me decide when to put my house on the market?"
The fourth example is the one that nearly everyone who entered realized was a terrible question. "Will my wife be faithful?" assumes she has no free will, or that she is living according to some fated script. Many folks wrote some much, much better alternatives, including this one from Nancy: "How can I work to enhance my marriage relationship and to make it happy, satisfying, and fulfilling?"
I got a lot of pretty amusing answers for the final question, many along the lines of "If you have to ask, you need to wait!" But Tiffany gave a simple and elegant alternative: "What can the Tarot tell me about having children right now?"
The bottom line - the Tarot works least well when we ask it for answers, but it works beautifully when we ask for information, alternatives, and creative suggestions. When the querent takes responsibility in his or her situation, the Tarot can help create an action plan!
Next time, I'll show some some more ways to cut to the chase and get the information you need!
